{am I there yet?}

It has been awhile since I've given an update on my art licensing situation.

That's because it is a freaking long, and if I can be honest, at times excruciating, process. 

Over the past almost year and a half, I've found myself on many occasions whining to God like a toddler on a long road trip, questioning over and over again, "Am I there yet?!"

When is the magic going to happen?

When can we remodel our kitchen with my huge royalty check?

I found out in November that a large national chain bought some of my work. And I was doing a major happy dance. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops but because of legal stuff I have to keep my lips zipped until I know my pieces are available for sale.

You all...it is February and still no sign of them in stores. So here I am...sitting on this exciting announcement like an annoyed, squirmy cat.

Oh, and that big fat royalty check? I got my first one a few weeks ago. 

And I'm gonna be REAL honest with you all now.

It was $78.

Yep...I waited like the most ridiculously impatient child you've ever seen, for over a year, for $78. 

I threw a total pity party for myself for approximately two hours {or two days, but who's counting?} after I opened that envelope because: 1. I pretty much knew the first check was going to be small; 2. Just not that small; 3. I reallllly want a kitchen sink that stays white; and 4. I had SO much hope tied up into this art licensing thing.

I still do. 

But now it is a bit more realistic, in the harshest reality-check ever sort of way.

Once I was over feeling sorry for myself, I decided to spend my whopping nearly $80 earnings on a pair of turquoise leather moccasins and a sweet little tree necklace. 

And an owl mug because...well owl mugs make everything happier. 

It's no kitchen sink, but hell if I don't look cute wearing my moccasins + necklace while drinking coffee out of my owl mug.  

But seriously, friends. After I came back from the throws of my one-woman pity party, an exciting and fresh reality hit me over the head like one of the boys' Nerf darts.

I made more than that royalty check {OK...not much more, but still more} in my Etsy shop last month. 

I can do this with or without art licensing.

Sure, I'm still early in the licensing game and it could grow into something much bigger. 

But it comes down to this: My focus has to return to making art and putting it out into the world. 

And I need to stop tossing all of my hopes into the art licensing basket, because right now it is the tiniest basket ever, holding itsy bitsy eggs that haven't had much time to grow. 

And by focusing so much of my mental energy on what I hoped it would become, I wasn't moving forward. I wasn't leaving space for spontaneous and worthwhile projects to be born. And I've found over the past few years that those are the ones I need to pay attention to. 

I'll still be working on the art licensing thing because it excites me and it has immense potential. And I hope that one day soon I can tell you where you can go buy one of my canvases. 

But until then I'm going to stop asking God "Am I there yet?" and focus more on the journey. *Not that I won't have whiny toddler days, because they will most certainly pop up here and there. 

Have you found yourself wondering when you are going to arrive to some magical destination? Do you think that focus is holding you back from the important work you are called to do? 

XO,