{on being an advocate for your children}

"Our policy is that we always put twins in separate classrooms."

Amidst the teacher-meeting, all-about-me-book-making, and school-bus-touring, all I could hear were those words echoing in my head.

We took the boys to a kindergarten kick-off event last night.

KINDERGARTEN.

While that word can strike fear and anxiety in the heart of any parent, I didn't realize until last night just how much more weight it holds for parents of multiples.

"They are better off in separate classrooms."

Why?!

To many, it might seem like such a simple decision to separate them. Most kids have to go it alone, so why are twins any different?

Because they are. In SO many ways.

They have experienced EVERYTHING together...from the moments they came out of my womb {separated by a mere three minutes}, learning how to walk, celebrating birthdays, getting their first bikes, starting preschool.

ALL of it. Together.

So it makes total sense to force them to experience kindergarten apart.*

*insert heavy sarcasm

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to shelter them by keeping them together. My reasoning is actually quite to the contrary.

These boys are SO different. Not only do they not look alike {thank God...that has made parenting SO much easier, especially in the infant days}, but they have different talents and skills, interests and abilities, temperaments and personalities.

And that's why I know they would be better off in the same class.

They are better together, not because they rely on each other, but because they should experience it together. Field trips, parties, school programs, homework, classmates. I want all of those things to be a shared experience for them. A bonding experience.

Watching how they have adapted to preschool has only made me more sure of this. The lovely thing is that, while they know the other is with them and that is a comfort, they are almost always playing separately. When we pick them up, it is usually show and tell time, and we walk in to find them sitting with different friends. Or if they are playing they are in different parts of the room. 

But they KNOW the other is there. And I know they feel that and appreciate it.

And they experience the same things, but through very different lenses. I love that. 

Maybe I'm more worried about how my own heart will handle their eventual separation in school. But isn't a momma's heart a container for those of her children? Our hearts are growing together...mine taking on the growing pains of theirs, while at the same time growing right along with theirs.

I know them. I know what is in their best interest...what will help them to thrive.

Last night I realized on a much larger level that it is my responsibility to be an advocate for my children, to be that mom. The one who puts her foot down and doesn't follow all of the rules when she knows they weren't made for her children.

I have to put on my big girl pants, be brave, act like I have it all together... when inside I'm just praying most days I can make it through.

As anxiety inducing as this is for me...it is also very empowering...this taking charge of your children's best interests. This is an anxiety that I will gladly bear.

Have you had to be an advocate for your children? Or even for yourself?