The truth sometimes looks like this...
Its scary. And we hide from it.
But we all desperately need it.
Last weekend I taught my first Discovering Your Truth workshop, and I was surprised to find myself feeling both humbled and fulfilled at the same time...with a bit more weight on the humbled side.
I shared on my vlog the other day about the idea that we often want to teach others the same lessons we ourselves need to learn...a concept I picked up from this lovely blog. And maybe it was because my workshop fell during a time period when I was already feeling particularly raw because of how hectic life had been, but I found myself falling into the role of student right along with everyone else.
It was surprising to me that after the workshop, and even still lingering today, I feel more vulnerable and self-conscious than I feel empowered. I feel a sense of joy that the women who came left our shared space with encouraged hearts and something that they made with their own two hands to remind them of that. But at the same time I felt like, "How am I qualified to be teaching this?" and "What the heck am I doing here?"
Maybe this is the way it is supposed to be. When we feel so led to teach others something that is burning in our hearts, that desire isn't solely our own. This creativity that flows inside of me isn't something of my own making. I have to remind myself of that. And that realization comes with a healthy does of humility.
I'm simply a vessel for the work that God wants me to do in the world.
I honestly believe it is our deep responsibility to cultivate our gifts...to honor God by sharing them with others.
That doesn't mean it will come easy to us...I think if it does then maybe we aren't digging deep enough. This also brings me back to my vlog and the idea of stretching ourselves. I truly feel that the only way we are going to grow is if we take a few steps, or even a giant leap, outside of our comfort zone to cultivate the talents we've been entrusted with.
Am I good at that? Not even close. In fact, I'll be the first to admit that my default tends to be the path most traveled, instead of the least.
But I know I owe it to Him to give it a shot.
We are the vessels but we also have to do the work to bring our talents out of hiding.
My friend Hannah talked here about how we all go through seasons of our talents being hidden...for one reason or another they need to lie dormant...but to have hope and believe that when the time is right we will be given the opportunity to let them come up through the surface like a plant breaking through the soil. {Go read her post...it is wonderful.}
I feel like it is my time to break through that ground, and that is both exciting and scary at the same time. I wonder if I will be able to do my talents justice, or if I'll fall flat on my face. But all any of us can do is have hope in His plan for us, listen to that small voice leading us in the right direction, and surround ourselves with people that encourage and want the best for us.
Whew! So if you've made it through all that, here is a little photo recap of my workshop. It was such a fun time with some great ladies {including my Mom!}
That lady up there....that's Amy, and she is AMAZING, for lack of a better word. She helped me lead the workshop and has been my biggest encourager throughout this process.
I am already planning my next class and find myself actually looking forward to feeling vulnerable, to being a student, to even being scared...because those are the times we grow the most.
Linking up with...
Nice post Mandy! I ask myself those same questions every time I host or coordinate an event. "Am I qualified to lead this?" "People trust me with this because why?!?"
ReplyDeleteSelf doubt can be debilitating (and sometimes I let it) but I am so proud of you for plowing through and creating some amazing stuff along the way. Keep me posted on your next event. There's no JBF sale until October FYI ;)
Looks like a great time! I was sorry to miss out. I was sick that day. I'm glad to hear you plan on having more workshops! Hope I can make it the next time!
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