{giving thanks}

Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers out there! Hope everyone has a wonderful day, full of great food, family, friends and plenty to be thankful for. We are headed over to the hub's mom's house where we'll be greeted by tons of family and hugs. Can't wait!

{vulnerable}

The past few days have been rough on me. Emotionally and physically I have felt more run-down than I think I've felt since the first month the boys were in the world. I can blame this partially on mother nature who decided to reign down on me the worst monthly visitor I think I've ever had. Thanks MN...love ya.

But seriously, emotionally I feel very vulnerable. Being a mom takes so much out of you and puts your heart right out there on the table for anything and everything to take their turn at poking and prodding it. I guess any mom understands this feeling...constantly wondering about your children and hoping they are OK when you aren't with them. Worrying about their future and hoping you are doing the right things to ensure they are healthy and happy. Feeling like any little thing that goes wrong is your fault and could have been avoided if you would have done something differently.

I feel like my heart is so open to emotion right now...happiness, sadness, fear, loneliness. I miss the hubs at night more than I think I ever have. I laugh easier. I cry at the drop of a hat (of course that isn't really anything new with me). I fear being hurt or one of the boys being hurt. I fear what they would do if they didn't have Dan or I to take care of them. I feel so sentimental about everything. I want to do everything possible during the holidays this year to make it special for the boys. I'm afraid that I'll forget to do something or take that one special picture and I won't be able to recreate the moment.

I'm so thankful to God for the life that I have right now, but at the same time I hope that I can adjust to this new state of mind. Right now it really has me thrown for a loop.

On a much less serious note, I got some new clothes yesterday, which is very exciting. A great deal of my winter wardrobe just doesn't fit me quite yet, so I'm in desperate need to both work and casual clothes. I got some new skirts and a great sweater at Kohl's...love that place. Here is my loot...I got three skirts (one denim, one black and one in a brown tweedish pattern) and a gray cowlneck sweater that I loooove. (I cut the weird braided things off of the skirt...it was $11 on clearance so I figured I could do a little tweaking.)




I wore the sweater and denim skirt to work today with black tights and boots...excuse my poor attempt at self-portraits.




Today is my last day of work for a week and a half! The hubs and I are both taking next week off and we have tomorrow and Friday off for turkey day so we are really excited. We're going over to mother-in-law's house for the main meal tomorrow and then my family is coming over to our house for dessert later in the day. We'll be spending most of the weekend with family too...I can't wait. What are your plans?

No matter what I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

{proud}

I'm a proud momma this morning! Ben finally took some oatmeal last night with a spoon. For all you moms out there you know what a big victory this is, and how monumental. I just can't believe my babies are eating solids already! Crazy. Landon has been eating for a few weeks now, but Ben just wouldn't take the spoon. Last night he took it like a champ all of a sudden, much to my surprise. Go Ben!! :)

The boys also tried out their new jumper (thanks Grandma Joyce!) They both seemed to like it. Landon kept spinning himself in circles and Ben just leaned forward and stared at us. They aren't quite ready to be jumping around in it, but it is so exciting that they are ready for that stage.




And just for fun a few more recent photos...

{pity party}

Table for one.

I'm having a rough night. Usually this hits me once a week or so, if I'm lucky I can go two weeks without feeling like I want to hide in a hole, away from all adult and parental responsibilities. Being a mom is hard. Being a mom to twins is even harder. Being a mom to twins when your husband works the night shift, well hard doesn't even describe that on some nights.

I miss having him here as moral support. I miss having him here when both boys are upset and I have to neglect one to take care of the other. I miss having him in bed with me once the boys are finally asleep and all is quiet in the house. I miss him. And I feel so guilty on nights like this when I'm sobbing and don't want him to leave, because I know that he is feeling guilty and that is the last thing I want to do to him. Our job situation right now isn't ideal, but we are blessed to have enough money to support our family. We are very blessed to not have to put the boys in daycare right now.

I feel like I just can't keep up with the challenges that life is throwing at me on a daily basis. I feel spread so thin that if one more thing is added to my shoulders I'm going to collapse. But I know when that one extra challenge is thrown at me, the hubs will say just the right thing to bring me back to reality, my mother-in-law will drop by to help watch the boys so I can do my laundry, or my parents will offer to watch them so we can go out on a date. I am so thankful for our everyday saviors, who I know are answers to our prayers during this blessed but extremely taxing time in our lives.

I think I'm cried out for the night and hopefully the boys are too.

{goodness}

Just added some vintage goodness to my shop. If you love vintage stationery you should definitely take a peek.

And a proud momma moment from last night...Landon drank from a cup! I couldn't believe it! He looked interested when I was drinking some water, so I put the cup up to his mouth and he took it! Of course most of the water spilled onto his shirt, but whatever. I just can't believe how quickly my babies are changing!

{back in the saddle}

That's right!

Modern Greetings is up and running again! I have added a few digital photo card designs to my shop!

Check them out!

{anticipation}

I am beyond excited for the holidays this year. Having the boys may make it hectic, but so much more fun and magical. I love Thanksgiving, but it always seems to take a backseat to Christmas planning, and this year is definitely no exception. Although, turkey day food is calling my name and I can't wait to stuff myself full of turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie. The best thing is that I get to enjoy two dinners...my mom and mother-in-law are both excellent cooks.

So back to Christmas. One thing I'm really excited about is taking pics of the boys for our Christmas card. I'm ordering two of these adorable santa hats and we're going to do our own photoshoot at home. They are hand-knitted by a fellow mom which I think is really special.



I'm also ordering these stinking cute onesies/rompers from Old Navy. I just love the funny sayings on them.


And I'm proud to say that I've gotten a ton of Christmas shopping done already. I still need to get a few things for the hubs, the boys and a couple family members, but I've gotten a big chunk of things done which feels great. Is it bad to say that I don't think we need to buy a lot for the boys this year? I know they will get a ton of gifts from family and they are still so young that they'll probably enjoy playing more with the wrapping paper than the actual gifts anyway.

Oh...I've been tagged by Janelle to list 6 things I'm thankful for right now. I'm sure I could come up with a ton more than 6, but here we go...

1. My boys. Little did I know this time last year what life would be like right now. We had just found out we were having twins and I think we were both still a little shocked about it all. Now we can't imagine only having one. Every day is something new with them and watching them grow is truly amazing.

2. My husband. We have been together for 9 years (married for 5) and I could never have imagined how wonderful our relationship would be. We have only grown stronger through the hard times and the wonderful times are even more wonderful spent with him. He is an amazing father and watching him with his boys has been such a joy.

3. Our family. I don't know what we would have done these past 6 months without the support and help from our family. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law and my parents. They have all helped out soooo much with watching the boys and buying us necessities. We are truly blessed. I wish we could do more to show them how thankful we are.

4. Creativity. I am so thankful for the creativity that God has blessed me with. Although my crafting time is limited these days, my mind is always swimming with ideas and projects I want to complete for our home, for the boys, and for my hopefully soon-to-re-open Etsy shop.

5. Coffee. This one is rather trivial but I just love coffee.

6. Getting my body back. I still have a little ways to go, but being abe to wear my pre-pg clothes and look decent in them is so exciting. After being so huge and wearing dresses for shirts (seriously...none of my maternity clothes fit me the last month), I'm relieved to feel mostly back to normal.

What are you thankful for? If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged!! And lurkers, that means you too! :)

{denial}

I'm really in denial over this cold weather. No, winter is not here. No, it is not 25 degrees outside. NO!!! *stomps feet like a preschooler*

I absolutely hate being cold, and once I get cold, it is almost impossible to warm me up. Especially my feet. I have a space heater at work directed at my feet and they still remain icicles. I have no explanation.

What I do love about this time of year is all the comfy, cozy accoutrement (yeah...big word for me) that go along with it.

I love dressing up in tights and boots for work.

I love wearing scarves.

Not a big fan of gloves but I can handle them as long as I have a cute pair.

I love having even more of a reason to get a vanilla latte from Starbucks or fix a ginormous mug of hot chocolate in my Anthro mug. It has a W on it...found it on ebay for $1.99 so I figured the W could just stand for some secret word only I know.

{flickr representation of said mug}

I love sweaters. I have a ton of them but usually pull out the same two or three staples most days of the week.

I love fires and candles lit in the fireplace.

I love soup, and dearly miss getting a steaming cup of tomato basil and a grilled cheese from our now closed Sacred Grounds coffee shop.

{stand-ins for the real thing}

That soup was amazing...delicious...life altering. Seriously. The hubs has tried a few times to duplicate it and is getting closer. I have faith in him. And he makes a mean grilled cheese with sourdough and havarti.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I can put up with the cold temperatures as long as I have all of the above. And of course this year I have the extra warmth of snuggling with these two cuties.


Thinking warm thoughts...

{date night}

The hubs and I actually got to go out on a date tonight! Thanks to Grandma, we had a baby free evening for dinner and a movie. We ate at Chili's and saw the new Bond flick...it was really good. I won't post any spoilers for anyone that wants to see it and hasn't yet. It was full of lots of action as usual and Daniel Craig's good looks. :)

We also went to our local holiday craft fair early today and I met a fellow Etsy-er! It was like meeting a celebrity of sorts. LOL :) Her store is Madison Reece Designs and her pendants are just gorgeous in person. The mother-in-law bought three for Christmas gifts. I was tempted to buy a few but our budget is too tight right now. Go over to her shop and check it out! She was really sweet and friendly. I would be very lucky to have a shop as successful as hers one day.

It was a tough night getting the boys to sleep...just now got them both in bed and its 11. Oy. I wanted to get a few things done around the house tonight but I think the hubs and I are too tired for that. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

{healthy}

I'm so happy today to have two healthy boys. They had their 6 month check up a few weeks early this morning. The doctor was very happy with how they looked and how they are growing. Landon weighed in at 17 lbs 15 oz. and Ben was 15 lbs. 10 oz.

The doctor told us to try more solids with them so we're going to make a bigger effort with that. It is a hard transition from the bottle to spoon feeding two babies...takes so much time! Landon had oatmeal for the first time last night and absolutely loooved it. He ate like a champ! Ben isn't too into it yet though and mostly just spits it out. Maybe in a few more weeks he'll warm up to it.

A few nights ago Landon fell asleep eating his cereal. It was one of the most precious and funny moments. I caught it on video...but its a little dark.


And here's a pic of him sleeping away covered in gooey goodness.

The hubs and Ben enjoyed a little father son bonding on the couch the other night and I got some great shots. I love all of his different facial expressions.

{hanging out with Dad}

Ben was helping Daddy surf the internet the other night...thought these pics were too cute not to share. :)






And of course I have to give Landon some love...



Hope everyone is having a great Tuesday!

My parents watch the boys today and Mom is making us beef stew for dinner. Mmmm :) Gotta love fall food!

{today}

Things I'm loving today...

Coffee that actually tastes good with fat free creamer and sweet & low
(trying to lose those last baby pounds)

Grey sweater tights


The hubby's yummy fall striped scarf

A good hair and makeup day


Pandora radio

2009 calendar from Blue Tricycle



Newly discovered music from Missy Higgins and Holly Brook

What are you loving today? Hope it is a great Monday for everyone!

{quirks}

So all of us have things about us that are unique, different, and yes, sometimes a bit weird. For some reason I've been thinking about my quirks that past few days and thought I would share a few for those that only know me through the blog world.

1. I absolutely LOVE squirrels. I would have one for a pet if I could. There are a ton of them around the campus where I work and I love watching them, especially during this time of year. They are so cute running through the leaves, snacking on acorns and chasing each other around trees. I usually try to see if they'll come up close to me when I'm walking down the sidewalk from my car to the office, and offer them a treat if I have animal crackers or triscuits in my purse. Yes, I'm 30 and I eat animal crackers. Love them.

2. Lately I've noticed that I have one phrase I use when something bad happens. If I drop, break, spill or otherwise mangle something, I say "that can't be good." If I hear something break in a store or restaurant, see someone trip, or any other unfortunate event, I say "that can't be good." I have no idea when I started to say this but it immediately comes out of my mouth at this point. I guess that's better than other words which I have used more frequently than I care to admit.

3. I like the smell of gasoline. That's about all I can say about that.

4. I was always obsessed with my stomach before I was pregnant. Any little bit of what I thought to be fat was always on my mind. Now that I'm dealing with post pregnancy belly issues I wish I had enjoyed those flat tummy days a lot more.

5. I go to sleep with the TV on. I don't like being in the pitch dark, and since the hubby works nights I need something to keep me "company" while I'm drifting off. Of course now that the boys are just a few feet away it is usually muted.

6. I love the dollar spot at Target. The hubs usually rolls his eyes when we walk in and I dart over to see what goodies they have that day. He calls it junk, but it is a pot of gold to me. This last Target trip I got two sets of hats and mittens for the boys, a cute owl birthday card, and adorable fall scrapbooking stickers. See honey...not junk!

7. I have about 10 or so crafty business ideas in my head at any given time. Since I can't act on any of them right now because I have zero time it is really driving me crazy. I still think one day I'm destined to make a career out of my creativity. Hopefully my intuition is correct.

So what are your quirks?? I'm curious! :)

{photoshop*love}

I've been playing around with photoshop and sepia tones on some of the boys' photos and having a lot of fun. Here are a few examples...

{tearing up}

I've never been one to get into politics, but the events that are unfolding tonight are so monumental. I'm tearing up watching the news coverage and the massive crowds of people celebrating Obama's impending victory. What a joy to see the tide of our country changing. I feel blessed to be a part of this.

{full}

Our weekend was so full of activity!

Friday we had so much fun celebrating Halloween. I decorated the house in the few spare minutes I had thanks to help from the grandparents. Strung my pennants on the porch railing, hung the Halloween welcome sign and put out the boys' pumpkins.

We dressed them up in their cutie outfits and handed out goodies bags of candy (thank to mom) to the 90 or so kids we had...we always have a good turnout, even though we were the only house on our side of the block handing out candy! My neighbors are party poopers!

We filled ourselves up with pizza and enjoyed watching the boys take it all in.

We're already thinking about what their costumes will be next year. A few ideas in the running are Neil Diamond (my Dad's fave), the crocodile hunter, and Charlie Brown (for Ben). Should be fun!

On Saturday we took the boys out around town for the afternoon. Went to our favorite local Mexican restaurant for lunch, took a trip through a flea market, did some necessary grocery shopping, and took a nice walk in the park. It was a beautiful fall day and I'm smacking myself for not having the camera with us to capture the moment.

Yesterday we had a very eventful day...the boys' first trip to IKEA! It was so much fun.



Landon had an encounter with a giant, but snuggly, alligator.


Ben got his very own bear to cuddle.


They both enjoyed looking at everything...kept their little minds occupied the whole time.


Ben was very curious of Grandma Joyce's soup, and got to hold her bread for a second. They will be eating solid food before we know it!




After IKEA we went to Jungle Jim's which is a huge grocery store...very cool. Dan picked up a few beers from their huge selection. We also made a stop at Target where I picked up some fun goodies from the dollar spot. That is my favorite place in the whole store. LOL :) And finally we had dinner at Panera before heading home. Landon even got a small taste of my soup and seemed to enjoy it.

We were exhausted when we got home, but it was well worth a day so full of memories.