Those who have been following along with my blog for the past few years may have noticed a lack in pictures lately of my boys. I realized that the other day, so I took a bunch of fun shots of them while they were jumping on my bed doing their best superhero poses {yes, they are still OBSESSED}.
Then I realized that they weren't quite blog appropriate.
Why, you ask?
Because they were wearing only their underwear.
Now, for me, I don't see any problem with it because I still see them as innocent babies, but I know not everyone does in this imperfect world of ours. And they are officially NOT toddlers anymore which makes me all kinds of pouty...so I know they are probably past the line of underwear shots being OK.
And guess what their wardrobe consists of lately, with the 95+ degree days we've had?
Just underwear.
So instead of scrapping the photos completely, I decided to do a little creative editing.
I give you...
Super L&B jumping on the bed {edited version}
Ben's face in this one cracks me up...like he is really straining his muscles. :)
So now my new task is to make sure they are clothed more often so I can share photos of them. :)
Does anyone else have this problem with their kiddos?
You've all heard of sleep walking, and maybe some of you have even done it. While I can't claim that feat, I most certainly accomplished a different sleep + {insert mystery talent here} combo two nights ago.
Let me preface this by saying that I love sleeping. Like realllly looooove sleeping. And I can fall asleep pretty much almost anywhere.
In the car. On the couch. At my desk {shhhh...}.
So two nights ago I had left Landon's room after singing him a few bedtime songs, and headed to Ben's room to do the same. We have our bedtime song routine...Ben likes "You are my sunshine" followed by a little ditty I made up myself. Wanna hear it? Well...no video, but I will share the lyrics...complete with appropriate emphasis..
I love you Be-e-nnneeee Oh yes I do-oooo I love you Be-e-nnneeee Oh I love you-oooo When you're not with meeee I'm bluuuuue I love you Be-e-nnneeee Oh yes I do-oooo
Of course I insert Landon for Benny when appropriate, which if you keep reading, is where I get myself into trouble.
So back to my story.
I was singing my little song to Ben and then it happened.
I fell asleep.
And I kept singing.
I know these two things to be true because...
1. I actually started dreaming.
2. I woke up and was singing "Landon" instead of "Benny" and my poor Ben was looking at me like "What the hell Mom?!"
Poor little dude. I apologized over and over again and kissed his little forehead and started the song over, making sure to keep my eyes open, and more importantly, use his name.
So do you think I should try out for America's Got Talent? Or is this some super mom power that I've acquired?
Tell me...what is the craziest thing you've done while sleeping?
Do you all mind if I get a bit serious with you today?
I try to keep things light-hearted on This Girl's Life but over the past week or so I have felt moved to share the story of the birth of my boys, and the first few weeks and months after they arrived. I realized that I never really did this, other than little updates here and there, and I feel that my story might hopefully provide comfort for other moms who went through a similar experience. Until now I think I was to embarrased or ashamed to talk about the emotional struggle adjusting to motherhood was for me.
I've had quite a few friends become moms over the past month, two of them to twins. The announcement of new motherhood sends my head spinning. It brings up all sorts of anxieties, and in my mind, some failures, that I experienced during the early days of my new life as a mother. To be honest, becoming a mother was the most difficult, and dare I say, darkest, point of my life.
Yes, I know darkest is a really strong word. And I feel guilty and judged just for typing it. But it is the truth. It was a struggle of proportions that I had never imagined. Today I want to share a bit about my pregnancy, and the story of the boys' birth, which was by far the smoothest part of the road we have been on.
I went into motherhood with a lot of naivety. In a way I'm glad I did, but sometimes I wish so much that I had been more prepared mentally for what was to come. I had only babysat once in my life, which was an epic fail, I had never changed a diaper...you get the picture.
{And a little background information.. I've battled with anxiety for over half of my life. It started at age 13 and has come and gone in waves over the past twenty years.}
When I found out I was pregnant I was on an anxiety medication, which I had to stop taking for the health of the babies. Much to my surprise, I went through the pregnancy feeling great and didn't have any issues being off of the meds. Of course I had the normal anxiety surrounding pregnancy and giving birth, multiplied by the fact that I was having multiple babies.
My pregnancy was almost perfect with very few complications. Our biggest scare came at 12 weeks when I experienced some heavy bleeding. We were sent to the hospital for an ultrasound, praying for the best but preparing ourselves for the worst. The ultrasound tech started the exam and found a strong heartbeat. We were so relieved! Then she said..."well that's interesting"..."there are two!"...
Twins run in my family, so we shouldn't have been surprised, but it just never occurred to me that I might continue the trend. Once the twin dust settled, the pregnancy continued smoothly. I coerced the hubby into taking the obligitory monthly belly shots...
20 weeks
I started having a lot of discomfort walking at the start of the 2nd trimester {which lasted until the end...oy}, but other than that I felt great. Near the 30 week mark I started having contractions quite often, and we made three separate trips to L&D to stop them and keep the boys baking a bit longer.
My crazy big 30 week pregnant belly...someone told me I looked like a toothpick that had swallowed an olive!
Finally, at 39 1/2 weeks, I was induced {funny, after all of those early contractions}. They broke my water around 7 am and I had the boys, naturally, at 3:49 {Landon} and 3:52 {Ben} pm on the same day. {By naturally, I mean without a c-section, not without drugs...I may have anxiety issues but I'm not crazy.}
The doctor said it was the easiest twin birth he had ever experienced. I remember actually saying "That's it? That was easy!" once Ben had made his arrival into the world. I actually feel guilty when I talk about how easy the birth was. I was totally numb and pushed two babies out in a matter of five minutes. Insanity I tell you.
Landon on the left and Ben on the right
I remember being handed Landon and joking about how wrinkly his forehead was. I could tell already that he looked like his daddy...
Me just seconds after giving birth is a tad scary. So swollen!
I remember Dan trying to make sure he knew which one was which...we were both anxious about getting them mixed up. Thankfully their size and hair color made that easy for us.
I remember the first time the nurse brought them both in to try breastfeeding for the first time.
My two baby burritos
I don't even know what word to use to describe that moment. Surreal....awkward. She taught me how to feed both of them at once. It seemed manageable with her there to help me.
I remember Dan looking like a natural from the first second he held one of them. And the support I felt from him was immeasurable.
I remember so many family members coming to visit and feeling so much love.
My parents were just a little bit excited.
I remember the nurses letting us sleep until 10 am on our last day in the hospital. I'm sure they knew it was the last time we would get to sleep in for a long, long time.
And then we went home. And I still looked 40 weeks pregnant. {but I felt oddly skinny...I had lost 14 lbs of baby!}
I remember us walking into the house and sitting them down on the living room floor in their carseats.
I remember feeling panicked. And anxious. And not sure what to do next.
I think God blessed me with such an easy birth experience to prepare me for what was to come.
