{on being holey}

I've figured out one thing about myself.

On weekend mornings, I'll be a whole lot less cranky if I get myself up before the rest of the house, make coffee, grab a favorite (or new) book, and sit on the patio for a bit reading and sipping. I think it is a mix of the birds chirping, fresh air on my feet, and underlined words from a past reading...mixed with the sweetened milky coffee, of course...that all combine to help me find my best self. 

Before the boys need cereal and the cat litter needs attention. 

So that's how I started out my 38th year this morning. It was 8:40 by the time I pulled myself out of bed, and I knew I had precious little time for this ritual. So I grabbed Carry on Warrior (never a mistake to grab, that book), threw the last bits of hazelnut coffee in the pot, and plopped myself down in the patio chair despite a few cobwebs and leaves crunching under my feet. 

It had been awhile since I had practiced this ritual and my mood has reflected that fact.

One of the first pages I turned to was the one you see up there. 

Dog-eared AND underlined...I knew I needed to stop and re-read.

Holy Holes...very fitting for how I'm feeling on this day of being another year older. I'm honestly feeling quite holey today. Broken and unfilled, as Glennon puts it. 

And I've been annoyed with myself because I've always loved my birthday and enjoyed the week and days leading up to it like I was waiting for Christmas. But this year I feel different and I'm trying to be OK with that. This holey-ness feels holy so I'm looking for God in these empty spaces, as I work through random tears and frustrating frustration. 

Reading her words reminded me that I'm not being ungrateful for feeling this way, or being unreasonable. I'm just being my natural, holey, human self. 

And I have people in my life I can turn to that fill those holes in so many ways. 

My friend Amy, who reassured me over lunch one day when I told her I was afraid I might cry if we talked about that thing I was scared to talk about, that she had kleenex. She reminded me it was OK to cry. OK to by holey. 

My husband for hugging me tight last night and telling me how lucky he is even though I've been a cranky, head-achy, crying mess this week. Despite my holes, that he is thankful for me. 

I could create quite a list of people that fill up my holy holes but I'll leave it at that this morning, since the mosquitos have decided to join me on the patio and I don't want to spend my birthday itchy and covered in cortisone cream. 

But this is how I feel so far being 38. 10 hours in. 

Thankful, and yet, still very holey/holy. 

XO,

{birthday wish list}

So my big 3-6 is quickly approaching and I have a few items I'm pining over...

1. Saltwater sandals...

These are all over my Instagram lately...they appear to be a summer staple. I'm usually not a "trend" follower but the style is so classic and I hear they are super comfy.

2. This cuff from Kelly Rae Roberts...

I'm a huge fan of Kelly and cuffs, so this one is a no brainer. I'm also a hope addict. :)

3. This adorable mason jar tumbler and cuff from Hustle Mama Handmade...

Mason jar drinking is a big deal at our house these days. I've even converted my husband! And I'm dying over the feather print fabric...so happy!

4. The Nesting Place...

I'm a huge fan of The Nester and have heard such great things about her book. And I need to learn to love our house the way it is...quirks and all.

5. Art, Inc. by Lisa Congdon...

Another major inspiration of mine...Lisa Congdon amazes me. Her journey to becoming a professional artist helps to fuel my fire on a daily basis. This book isn't out yet but you can be sure I'll be grabbing up a copy as soon as I can.

I have about ten other books I could add to this list, but I'll spare you. :)

35 has been a truly amazing year for me, and I can't wait to see what adventures 36 has in store!

What's on your current wish list?

XO,

{let's go camping! L&B turn 6!}

Well, we pulled it off.

The boys are another year older and we have another party to add to our memories.

For their 6th birthday, I nudged them into a fun camping theme, after showing them all of the ideas I gathered on Pinterest.

This might be the last year I can get them to agree on a theme. We'll see what seven brings. :)

Of course I took this theme as my opportunity to doodle a bit for their invitation...

I reserved a shelter at our local park for the party and that was the best decision...worth every penny of the fee. The kids had a blast running around and finding treasures. Another great thing about the location was that it required minimal decoration. 

I made a camping sign on posterboard and stole the wood slice chalkboard off of their door...

A simple pennant, some balloons and my trusty aqua suitcases {plus a dollar store tablecloth} finished it off...

The real star of the table were the cupcakes my sister-in-law made...how freaking cute are these things?!

She even made two bigger versions for the boys...

The goody bags were filled with gummy worms and bears...

I used the same teepee doodle from their invitations on the stickers. 

{P.S....apparently gummy worms can ooze through paper bags. Who knew?!}

There were compass rings and magnifying glasses for the kids to explore the surrounding area for treasures. 

I had a treasure hunting sheet planned to use, but they were so busy on their own that I skipped it. I love that the kids are at an age where they can initiate their own games!

We also set up their teepee next to the shelter which the kids loved...

Sorry for the photo with my hubby's rear end...this is the only photo I managed to take of it! 

I planned on taking cute photos of the kids in front of it with my instax camera...you know, like a good blogger/crazy mom, but in all of the party craziness that never happened. 

Aside from opening their gifts and singing Happy Birthday, the party was super low-key. We ate pizza and chatted and let the kids run wild. Fun times. 

And now for lots more photos in totally random order...

This boy had his fill of people about two hours in...so much like his momma. :)

And this boy finally got his own camera. He is on cloud nine. 

We were so thankful to all of our family and friends that came to help us celebrate the boys. The past six years have included an immeasurable amount of support and love not only between us and the boys but coming from every direction around us. So grateful for that. 

Here's to year six! :)

XO,

{my dearest boys}

Today you welcomed six by jumping out of bed at 8 am to open birthday presents and eat powdered sugar donuts.

Five is all of a sudden just a memory.

A year full of growing pains and life lessons. 

New friends and longer legs. 

Learning to read and spread your wings. 

I'm so ridiculously proud of you. 

XO,

{six birthdays}

The boys are turning 6 tomorrow {!!!}, so I thought it would be fun to share a recap of their first five birthdays. 

I've had so much fun each year with the themes, and you'll see that for #3 and #4 I reallllly got into it. Although I've still enjoyed planning their parties the past two years, I've toned down the amount of work I put into it to save my sanity. 

This year is a camping theme complete with a big teepee, nature scavenger hunt and s'more cupcakes. We're having the party at the park for the first time which the boys are really excited about. I'm excited because I don't have to worry about the house being clean. ;)

Here are their first through fifth birthdays, with links to each post, {or photos for #5 because I was lame last year and forgot to blog about their party}...

First - Circus

Second - Rock Star 

Third - Despicable Three

Fourth - Super Heroes

Fifth - Dinosaurs

Let's see if I can remember to blog about #6!

XO,