{family}

My good friend Laura, who took L&B's 1 year photos, was gracious enough to take some family photos for us this past weekend. She is so talented, not to mention one of the most fun people I know (and a fabulous scrapbooker so of course we are friends!)

Initially I wanted her to take some pics of Dan and I, since this fall marks 10 years of us as a couple. We had our first date on November 13, 1999. So hard to believe we have been together for an entire decade! I chose our local park for the photos since that is where we went on our first date, but of course I had to include the boys as well. It was a perfect fall day with beautiful colors all around.

She posted a few teasers for me on facebook and I wanted to share them...I'm sure I'll be posting more when I get the full CD from her! :)

{more fall love}

I can't help but share more fall photos today...I think every year I fall more in love with the colors of this season. And this year we are surrounded by to many beautiful trees at home which makes it even better.

Here is the view out our kitchen window from a few days ago. Makes doing dishes a bit more bearable (not that I do them very often ;)






Happy Thursday friends - the weekend is almost here!

{taking the long way}

One of the many things that I love about our new house is that I can drive through the park to go to work every day. It isn't exactly the "long way" but it is definitely a much more relaxed drive than taking the main road with all of the stop lights and traffic (well, traffic in small town Indiana anyway).

I decided the other day on my way home to document my drive with my new cell phone camera. Don't worry - I was going about 15 miles per hour, and watching out for pedestrians, squirrels, ducks (our park has quite a big family of them), and of course other cars.

So here we go...this is the pretty tree I see as I enter the park. I love how it stands all by itself on top of the hill. I noticed yesterday that it is starting to turn a lovely shade of yellow...



There are lots of pretty trees this time of year...



The pond - see the ducks?



I love this winding road - it dips down and you are surrounded by trees...



Coming back up the hill...



The last stretch...



And I couldn't leave out our lovely neighborhood...



And I'm home!



When I'm having a rough day, this drive always helps me to feel a bit more refreshed, and closer to God.

{pumpkins, goats and caramel apples}

This past Sunday we finally had nice weather and a free afternoon to take the boys to the orchard. The hubs needed some much deserved alone time, so my mother-in-law and sister-in-law and I bundled the boys up and headed down the road, literally. I had never been to this orchard, but it is only about 5 minutes from our house, so we decided to check it out.

It definitely didn't disappoint. There were goats to feed, pet, and be scared of, cider slush and caramel apples to devour, and lots of pumpkins to run around. (that was definitely the boys' favorite part.)

Landon checking out the cute goat - I don't think either were sure of the other...



The black goat enjoying an audience...



Next we checked out the gift shop. Ben held onto the cinnamon apple jelly we bought for Grandpa...



Landon was ready to go back outside...



The pumpkins inspired me to try an artsy photo...



Joyce enjoying a pear...



My almost entirely gone caramel apple. Yummiest thing I've eaten in quite awhile...



Grandma and Auntie took the boys to play in the pumpkins...



Looking for the perfect one...



Still looking...





Wait! I think I found one!



Here it is!



Let's measure it!



Landon found a perfect gourd...



Showing off his treasure...



And when we got home, they played in the leaves Daddy had raked while we were gone...





What a great fall day!

{changes}

I wanted to say thank you for all of the wonderful and supportive comments on my last post. I use this blog for venting quite a bit, and it is such a nice bonus to know that there are so many other women and mothers out there who are experiencing the same emotions and difficulties. People tell you that having a child will change your life, but until you are actually a parent you have no clue just how much it changes.

And now for a fun change! I took a half day off of work on Wednesday (much needed!) to get my hair cut and colored. I hadn't been to see Duane for 5 months, which is unheard of for me. I usually go every 2 months, so my hair had gotten super long and way too many grays were showing. I'm too young for grays!!

Anyway, here is a before pic to show you just how long it had gotten. I love this photo of Ben and I from the park this past weekend. (despite the look on his face he was actually having fun :)



And here is my new do! I feel like me again!



I actually had a very similar cut a few years ago so it isn't anything too awfully new. I love that it takes me about half the time to dry and style it in the morning too. Thankfully the weird waves I inherited after the boys were born are gone!

And just because they are cute, a couple new pics of the boys :)





Happy Friday!

{this very moment)

At this very moment I'm looking for a big hole that I can crawl into.

One that is quiet, dark and cozy. One I can curl up in and be left alone for however long it takes me to feel like myself again.

The life I'm living these days, while very blessed, isn't a life that feels like mine. It is hectic and filled with lots of things that leave me feeling worn and tired.

I have never longed this much for a day to myself...a day to sleep in, drink my coffee uninterrupted, scrapbook, take a long walk in the park, look at some magazines, all of the things I used to take for granted.

I know that a day like that just isn't a possibility in my life right now so I try to keep the idea as far away from my mind as possible. But there are times, like this very moment, that the thought creeps back in. And it makes me sad.

I love my family more than anything, but it is true that you can easily lose yourself once you become a mother. There isn't time for the old Mandy anymore. And at this very moment I really wish there was.

{humbled}

My husband and I have always been fairly frugal people. We hardly ever splurge on big ticket items, and whenever we've purchased furniture or large appliances for the house we've done no interest financing. We always keep our credit cards low or at a zero balance etc. But, over the past few years, we have become accustomed to eating out quite a bit, pampering ourselves with Starbucks or a new 6 pack of imported beer (can you guess which one is mine and which on is his?). If we needed new clothes or shoes we just bought them without really thinking much about it, although we hardly ever buy high end brands.

Now that I'm our sole income, the lifestyle we've become accustomed to, while still very frugal, isn't going to work, especially with two more people in the family. We don't have the expendable income that we used to enjoy.

I figure I can look at this new situation from two different perspectives...

I can cry and moan (which I still do on occasion) about not being able to buy the fun things I used to. I can feel sorry for myself and be jealous of those around me who can spend freely (although I think a lot of them are doing so on borrowed money anyway.)

Or, I can consider this an opportunity to be creative...I can choose to see it as a challenge.

It is oddly freeing to not be able to go out and buy whatever your heart desires. It forces you to spend more time at home. We are cooking dinner instead of eating out. I'm clipping coupons and only looking at the things I need to buy when I'm out shopping. I'm looking at the clearance racks for clothes and perusing ebay for deals. (I'm waiting on my first piece of gently used clothing to arrive and hoping that it fits.)

It is very humbling to know that you need to plan and be aware of what you are doing and how you are using your resources. It makes me feel like an adult for the first time in my life, which is both empowering and so scary at times it makes me nauseous. it is forcing me to look at life from a whole new angle, and realize that money really can't make you happy - sure it makes life easier - but not having it really makes you focus on the actual important things in life.

I want our boys to enjoy their childhood, and not feel like they were without things they wanted. I think every parent wants that for their children. When I look back on my childhood, I have a lot of great memories. They are of holidays, of a handmade doll from my Mom, making s'mores in the backyard, running through the sprinkler. And those things are all memories I can give my boys, no matter how much money we have in the bank. I'm trying to remind myself of that as I struggle to adjust to this new chapter of our family life.

{showered}

This past Saturday, my mother-in-law and I hosted a baby shower for my sister-in-law Beth. She is due on November 16th and is having a baby boy - Noah James. Needless to say we are all just a bit excited to meet the little guy.

The glowing mom-to be...



Guests chatting...



The adorable and quite yummy cupcake cake...



Beth with some of the adorable clothes she received. Noah is going to be one well dressed dude!



Be on the look out in about a month for pictures of Noah James!

{6 years}

The hubs and I celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary on Sunday! Thanks to my lovely mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and grandmother-in-law, we got to get out of town just the two of us...something that was long overdue. No fancy plans, just a trip to Indianapolis, lunch at one of our favorite restaurants, On the Border (mmmmm), a walk through the mall and a few other shops, a break for a caffiene/sugar fix, and finally a stop at our cousin and his wife's new house in Noblesville. It is a cute bungalow like our old house, and we are so happy for them. Newlyweds and a new house - exciting times for a deserving couple. :)

I only snapped a few shots that day...

One of our afternoon treat at Paradise Bakery (double mmmm)



And one of us snapped by Eric at their house... (I think the vertical stripes on my sweater + the chips and salsa, enchiladas and apple muffin I ate that day added about 10 pounds! I look serously bloated! Bloated, but happy.)



In a few weeks we will celebrate 10 years since our first date! Where has the time gone?!

{cuties}

Happy Friday! I'm so excited for this weekend. Tomorrow is my sister-in-law's baby shower. She is having a boy - due November 16th. Little Noah is going to be one spoiled baby boy, especially with all of the hand-me-downs he is getting from us! And Sunday is our 6 year wedding anniversary! Dan's Mom and Grandma are watching the boys all day so we can go out of town and enjoy a day just the two of us. We can't wait!

And since I haven't shared any in awhile, a few recent photos of my dudes...

Ready for the cooler fall weather...





Oreo pudding faces...





Fresh from the tub...



Looking for trouble...



Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!