At this very moment I'm looking for a big hole that I can crawl into.
One that is quiet, dark and cozy. One I can curl up in and be left alone for however long it takes me to feel like myself again.
The life I'm living these days, while very blessed, isn't a life that feels like mine. It is hectic and filled with lots of things that leave me feeling worn and tired.
I have never longed this much for a day to myself...a day to sleep in, drink my coffee uninterrupted, scrapbook, take a long walk in the park, look at some magazines, all of the things I used to take for granted.
I know that a day like that just isn't a possibility in my life right now so I try to keep the idea as far away from my mind as possible. But there are times, like this very moment, that the thought creeps back in. And it makes me sad.
I love my family more than anything, but it is true that you can easily lose yourself once you become a mother. There isn't time for the old Mandy anymore. And at this very moment I really wish there was.