Wednesday, March 26, 2014

{I've lost my shovel}


So remember how I have been talking about slowing down and finding balance?

Hmm...turns out I'm not taking my own advice.

If I can be completely honest...today I went home on my lunch break with a horrible headache. I couldn't get a kitchen cabinet door to shut so I punched it. Then I screamed. Then I sobbed so uncontrollably that I scared myself.

Friends...I think that means I'm a tad overwhelmed?

I don't want this to scare you or make you worry too much about me...I'm going to be OK. But, whoa this life has me feeling suffocated right now. 

Layers upon layers upon layers of life's responsibilities have piled on top of each other and today I felt a bit like I lost my shovel. And I've always had horrible upper body strength to begin with.

I don't know what I need to do, but I know I need to do something. I've had more venti lattes in the past week than I care to admit. 

Yesterday I went to McDonald's and comforted myself with a large coke and chicken nuggets, with BBQ sauce of course. Yum that stuff is heaven, is it not? Oh yes...I am a comfort eater/drinker for sure.

So I'm overwhelmed and 10 pounds heavier. Fabulous. 

The thing is...I work from 8-5. I'm a mom when I get home. I'm working on my doodles most nights after the boys go to bed. I don't have any margin...any breathing room.

And any parent knows that weekends aren't weekends and vacations aren't vacations...so those hardly ever leave me feeling refreshed.

Why am I sharing this bowl full of despair with you? I'm hoping that at least some of you can relate and that maybe we can wallow in our shovel-less suffocation together. Or maybe you can pray for me? Or just leave a virtual hug in the comments? 

And just so I don't leave you feeling worse than when you got here...cats doing cute things...



XOXO,

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8 comments:

Paige said...

HUGS!

Girl, I hear ya. We tend to spread ourselves too think sometimes. Get some rest. Have a drink (whatever kind of drink you want). Just be.

xo

GoMe1987 said...

I'm a lurker on your page, and have never commented, but wanted to let you know that I often feel the same way! I work full time, have 3 small kids, and am married to a fabulous guy that travels a lot for work and is in the Army. Our life is crazy! I have recently decided to put house work last, and that helps me. I may have a home that is not extremely clean all the time, but at least I am happier!

Gallegos Newsletter said...

Mandy~

Thank you for your post today! I hate that we all feel like we have to do so much each and every day and it does help to know we are not alone, even though we hate to see someone else struggling. I feel like there is just not enough time in the day, money in the bank account or tape in my dispenser (trying to use some humor). At the end of the day I am so tired it is hard to climb the stairs to bed.

I am however thankful that I have my husband, my daughter, my grandkids. That I live within 2 miles of my daughter and can help/see the grandsons everyday. That I do have at least enough of the $$$ to keep a roof over my head/ gas in the car and food on the table - even if I struggle at times to do all of that.

I will say a prayer for you today in hopes that your headache goes away and tomorrow brings lots of sunshine - because I know this crazy winter has not helped any of us!

Kassi Mortensen said...

Ah girl, we've all been there. Thinking happy thoughts for you. One way or another you'll make it through this trying time and it will all work out.

Julie H. Schaal said...

Take some time to unplug from all the devices, lay down your responsibilites for a bit and be by yourself. Carve out a morning or evening just for you! Sometimes I wake up crazy early and enjoy the peace and quiet. Other times, I like to go to the library, window shop or thrift (without a list!) or simply putter around the house. Also, another favorite of mine is to put some praise music on Pandora and just worship.

Create your margin and be well! Grace and peace to you, Mandy :)

Alyson McMahon said...

So, so many hugs Mandy! It is SO hard to be under so many layers and not know which way to start digging in order to pull yourself out! If you ever need a friend, I'm always here. Hope that you can take some time for yourself. And, breathe. Love you, friend!! xoxo

Tracy Cruz said...

Hi Mandy! So sorry to hear you are feeling overwhelmed. I too feel that way on most days! Honestly, when things start to get out of control I call a timeout and take a mental health day. I do whatever I need to do in order to recharge. Other things I've done (and am fortunate to be able to afford) is have a house cleaner come twice a month to our house to clean. That is the BEST thing I've ever done for myself! Hang in there.

Carrie Corrigan said...

HUGS!!! We've all been there. Being an adult is no joke. Hang in there!!

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