{so I've actually been reading...}

Hello there friends...sorry for the silence!

To say I've been overwhelmed the past week is a bit of an understatement. Between a super busy work schedule, keeping up with the boys and being sick with the head cold that never ends I have felt like crawling into a dark hole in the fetal position.

Yeah...that was a fun night. 

Buuuut...I went to the doctor yesterday, got some medicine, took a bit of time off of work to recoup and am feeling a tad better today. Thank goodness!

I wanted to share with you some books that I've read/been reading this month. The fact that the words "books" and reading this month" are in the same sentence is crazy for me because I think it has been over a year since I read ONE book, let alone THREE in one month. :)

With all three of these books, it has been a necessity to have a pencil/highlighter in hand while I'm reading because there is SO much good stuff to underline. SO.MUCH.GOOD.STUFF.

When I went to the Influence Conference, I was lucky enough to hear Shauna Niequist speak. Her talk was so encouraging, and I wish I had a recording of the prayer she gave to the group because it left me with mascara stained cheeks. 

And if that wasn't enough, she gifted everyone with their choice of one of her three books. I chose Cold Tangerines because it was her first and I had heard great things. 

You all. It is SO.GOOD. It made me laugh and nod my head and tear up and feel affirmed as a woman and a mother and a friend, page after page. 

This excerpt from the intro sucked me in...

Best read while eating hot cinnamon rolls on a weekend morning...

I read it in less than a week and quickly ordered her second book, Bittersweet. 

It was like picking up where I had left off with an old friend...just like Cold Tangerines...full of more laughs and affirming stories and confirmation that life is a good thing not despite the difficult moments, but because of them.

I guess you could say I have a bit of a girl/writer crush on Shauna at this point. I'm not sure if I should order her third book, Bread & Wine, because it is about cooking and I'm sooo not the cook in our house, but I may just because I love her writing so much.  

And last of all, the book I'm currently reading...A Million Little Ways by Emily Freeman...

I'm only a few chapters into it but I've underlined a ridiculous amount and already had some major lightbulb moments like this one...

Oh, I hope so.

I really appreciate the fact that she is affirming those tugs we feel...the constant reminder of something we feel led to do...that it isn't a selfish thing. That God might actually be pulling us in that direction. I know I've been feeling a really strong tug these days. 

Oh, and one last book that I haven't started yet but I can't wait to dig in the minute I'm done with A Million Little Ways. I also purchased The In-Between by Jeff Goins, who was a workshop presenter at Influence. 

I also had the really great opportunity to chat with him for about an hour at the end of the day on Saturday. We talked about our kids and writing and our God-given talents and it was really wonderful. He was so genuine and that conversation is one of the highlights of the conference for me. 

So there you have it...my current reading list and I really think you all should try one or all of them. Like go add them all to your Amazon cart or put them on your Christmas list, OK? :)

What are you reading right now? What should I add to my list?

{playing dress up}

So last week I was OBSESSED with figuring out what I was going to wear to the Influence Conference.

OBSESSED I tell you.

I bought new clothes and shoes and accessories.

And I was uncomfortable in about 75% of everything I wore. 

Yeah...so there's that. 

And then on Sunday I changed back into my uniform + my new amazingly comfy infinity scarf from my new friend and Influence roomie Hannah...

And all was well with the world again.

I'm kicking myself for not taking this dress to the conference. It is my favorite piece because I feel 100% comfortable in my own skin in it. But I wear it so often that I thought I would feel frumpy in it. 

I was going through my notes from the conference tonight and this phrase stuck out at me...

Do your own thing and do it well.

So if your thing is a thrifted Target dress...wear it, and wear it well, right?

Right. :)

Next time I go to a blogging conference you can be sure I'll stick to what I do well. 

{still processing...or #InfluenceConf recap #1}

I'm struggling a bit with putting into words my experience at The Influence Conference.

If I can be totally honest...conflicted is the best word I can come up with since coming home on Saturday. I don't want you all to think I had a negative experience, because it was far from that. The women were...amazing. Not one time did I encounter someone with less than a welcoming smile on her face.

The workshops were inspiring. My roommates were total sweethearts {and put up with the fact that I had a horrible cold the entire weekend with so much graciousness.}

But my head and heart...now they are a different story.

I'm going to be super honest with you all right now and say that I would bet money on the fact that I might have been the only girl at the conference that doesn't attend church. And not because I haven't found the RIGHT church. I don't WANT to. So you can see why I felt just a tad bit conflicted being at a Christian bloggers conference. I know...it makes me giggle a bit as well.

As a super quick backstory for those who don't know me personally, I grew up a minister's child in a Disciples of Christ church. When I was 21, my dad was fired from his position. He had been at that church for 22 years.

It was our home. It was our family. It was our entire life. And just like that...in a matter of a few months, it was gone.

The experience left me cynical. It stripped away the trust I had for others. It left me looking at everyone around me, including my friends, with a highly critical eye. My heart was broken.

But I will tell you what wasn't broken.

My faith.

Over the past 14 years it has grown stronger. And deeper. I've become a mother and gone through family trauma...clinging onto God and his grace and mercy to carry me through.

Working at a seminary for the past 6 years I've been surrounded by people that show me such a true love for God, which has really helped to heal many of my wounds. I get my church at work...most people can't say that.

But still...being around so many women who lead a different spiritual life than I do really threw me into a place of discomfort and questioning. I found myself on so many occasions asking why I was there. And then someone like Lara Casey or Jeff Goins or Shauna Niequist would say something SO darn brilliant and remind me that I was in the exact place I was supposed to be. Whether or not I share the same spiritual path as everyone else.

I'm on God's path. Or at least I'm working every day to stay on it.

I still feel conflicted, but I'm so glad I went.

And here are just a few reasons why...

I hope to share more about my experience at the conference, digging deep into the truths I heard and the lessons I'll carry with me. More to come!

{I want to be open}

In two days I leave for the Influence Conference and in so many ways I don't feel ready.

I'm nervous about being away from the boys for three days. It will be the longest I've been away from them ever and it is already stirring up tears when I think about it. I know they will be in good hands because Dan is an amazing father and fills in my gaps better than I fill in his, but I'm still going to have a hard time with it. I just want them to be OK and to not freak out. Tears on my end will happen no matter what.

I'm nervous about meeting so many women that {if I can be honest}, I'm totally intimidated by. I may seem like I have it all together, but put me in a room full of women and every one of my insecurities comes out of hiding, screaming in my ears. Whew...they are sneaky little things! 

I'm worried about what to wear especially because I know the room is going to be full of SO many adorably dressed and accessorized ladies. I'm doing my best to keep reminding myself why I'm going. To grow as a writer and to learn how to better tell my story. To be inspired by the amazing people I will meet. To learn how my little corner of the virtual world here can help others. 

I'm praying that I can be inspired instead of intimidated. 

Reminding myself that there is an infinite amount of awesome to go around. 

I'm praying that I can let go of my nerves and just be open to new friendships, to new growth, to the amazing things that will be placed before me. 

I want to be open. 

Oh yes...and I need to PACK!

Are you going to Influence? I would love to meet up and be inspired by you!

{Influence Conference...I'm going!}

I'm going to my first blogging conference in two weeks.

TWO.WEEKS!

The Influence Conference is in Indianapolis the last weekend of September and I'm going to be there. It still seems surreal to be saying that. 

I'm excited, nervous, anxious...in some ways I feel like a high schooler again because there are going to be so many wonderful women there that I can't wait to meet. I'm going to be rooming with three lovely ladies...Hannah, Courtney and Elise. I can't even remember the last time I had a "slumber party"...it is all going to be so much fun and yes, a tad out of my comfort zone. 

My "one little word" for this year has been GROW, and the opportunity to attend The Influence Conference is, I'm hoping, going to be one of my biggest growth opportunities this year. 

I just realized that I wore my one little word pendant today and it inspired my post...

Talk about God working in little ways. :)

The lovely ladies organizing the conference are hosting a link-up today for everyone, asking us to share the 2 things we are going to be bringing to the conference, and 2 things we are looking forward to about the conference. 

I'll of course be bringing way more than 2 things and I'm looking forward to SO much, but here are my top picks...

BRINGING:

1. My sketchbook and markers {they have become my extra appendages these days}
2. Coffee {duh}

LOOKING FORWARD TO:

1. Meeting more women than I can name or count...my roomies, the speakers and as many others as I can make it around to chatting with. {oh and Jeff Goins...can't leave him out!}
2. Seeing how God works through me while I'm there. I love waking up each day to see what surprises He has in store for me, and I know that this conference is going to be overflowing with blessings.

And now I just need to plan my outfits, find a cute business card holder, make gifts for my roomies....and prepare room in my mind and my heart to grow. 

Are you coming? I would love to "meet" you in the comments!

Linking up with the Influence Network