Monday, January 27, 2014

{the raw days}

My ordinary life feels holier to me on the raw days.

I wrote that during a free-writing exercise in a class I took last spring. 

Yesterday was surely one of those days.

As a hormonal female, I've come over the past year to realize that there are a few days out of the month that I'm just plain raw. My emotions are on overload. I'm irritable and not so fun to be around.

It takes work and a lot of awareness for me to bury that rawness.  

When I woke up yesterday after the hubby let me sleep in until 9:45 {so thankful for that!}, this was the scene I was greeted by...

The boys were watching Cars while playing with their cars. This, of course, is a no-brainer. 

After I settled onto the couch to watch the movie with them, I surveyed the room. Aside from two adorable boys that I could kiss all day long, all I saw was the mess of toys on the floor.

If I can be totally honest, a toy covered floor STRESSES ME OUT. Like nothing other. Well, that and our horrible kitchen, but that is another story for another day. 

And on most days when I'm feeling as raw as I was, I would let that mess stress consume me until I was the last person you would want to spend the day with. And I've let it do that too many times, I'm ashamed to say. 

But yesterday morning as I was beginning to feel that stress and rawness envelope me, I remembered this blog post from Liz Lamoreux about saying YES to the moment...whatever moment you find yourself in. 

From Liz's blog:

And even in the midst of the messy reality of the everyday, I try to find that space to take a deep breath and see the beauty of this moment.

I was so thankful that Liz's words came to me in that moment. Because I was able to banish the stress, and embrace that messy, real moment. Close my eyes and soak in the laughter coming from the boys' soft lips, run my fingers up and down Landon's smooth feet, wrap my arms tightly around Ben's warm body. 

The toy mess will eventually be cleaned up {and it the boys even!} but those moments of cuddling and savoring their 5-year-oldness are fleeting and I am determined to let go of the stress and embrace them.  

I'm realizing that embracing life doesn't come naturally, but it sure is worth the work. So I'm thanking God for the raw days instead of wishing them away. 

There is beauty in the rawness. 


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Mia said...

So right there with you. I always see those stupid wooden signs that proclaim a messy house equals a happy home. Well, that may be true for some people, but here, that's a one-way ticket on the Crazytown Express. I function much better in an organized environment. However, with a two year old, I have to make concessions. So I have learned to accept the fact that one room of the house will be messy at all times. Right now there are blocks, stuffed animals, foam letters, trucks, and probably some cereal scattered all over the dining room. And that's okay. The rest of the house is pretty good. It keeps everybody sane. And sanity is good.

Alyson McMahon said...

Oh, Mandy I love this post. Like, LOVE love this post. I have a really, really hard time even functioning when there is chaos surrounding me. And, I've tried hard lately to let that go and embrace the moment. Thanks for the reminder! And, I'm glad to know that I'm not alone.


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