{sitting next to God}

Landon was sick when we picked him up from school on Monday.

Legitimately sick.

He had a fever and the poor guy threw up once. But after passing out on the couch like a frat boy who had way too many beers {shirtless, sprawled across the cushions}, he seemed on the mend the next morning. 

He went through the school day on Tuesday just fine, but on Wednesday I got a call around 11:00 saying that he was sick and needed to be picked up. 

His belly hurt.

But I could tell when I picked him up that he was fine. At least physically. 

We went home and made a little camp out on the couch with his pillow, favorite blanket, and the old calculator I gave him to play with the other day...

He is in LOVE with this calculator. It is solar which makes it even more cool than other toys of the battery-powered variety. 

He didn't have a temperature or display any other signs of illness so I asked him a bunch of questions about school, worried that someone was being mean to him. After a little prying I realized that he was just anxious...missing home and the comforts of being with mom and dad. 

Oh how I know that anxiety. I still have it, and it makes my belly hurt as well. 

I've come up with some fail-proof methods to dispel it from my brain and my intestinal area... 

Deep breaths.
Doodling.
Prayer.

It hurts my heart to think that my precious almost six-year-old little boy is feeling that way.

So last night as the boys were splashing together in the tub {those days are numbered}, he started to tear up and tell me he didn't want to go to school tomorrow. I gave him a little pep talk and explained what I do when I'm anxious or sad. 

I told him to take a deep breath...to remember that Ben is with him...to look to his teacher for help. 

"AND tomorrow is gum day!" I reminded him. "You can't miss that."

And then I told him to say a little prayer if he wanted, because God would be with him and help him.

He looked at me a bit surprised, like that sounded too easy.

Even though we talk about God often and how he is always with us, that is a hard concept for a five-year-old brain. Especially Landon's...my little daydreamer. His head is always up in the clouds so you would think God would be an easy concept for him. ;)

Ben...my tiny theologian...got it right away. Yes! God is around us like the wind! Like a friendly ghost!

"I think God is sitting beside you right now, Momma!" he said. 

I was kneeling next to the bathtub, knees damp from the towel I put down to catch their drips and splashes, edges of my sleeves wet from pouring buckets of water over their heads to rinse off the shampoo suds. 

"Yes," I told him. "God is definitely sitting beside me right now." 

Aren't we lucky that He shows up in the ordinary places? 

I have a feeling He is sitting next to Landon at lunch today. 

XO,

{bees in my belly}

That up there is the reminder I needed after the rough transition week we've had in our little family. The boys started kindergarten on Monday...if you follow me at all I'm sure you already knew this. :)

And WHOA. What a bumpy ride it has been. 

School sure has changed since the early 80's when I started kindergarten. I remember my Mom walking me into my classroom, getting me settled and saying our good-byes. Now, and I'm sure it is partly because of the school violence we've seen in recent years, it is a whole new ballgame. 

When we drop the boys off at their school, ALL of the children grades K-4 are gathered in the gym, lined up with their class. It is A LOT of kids and really loud. So of course the first day was super overwhelming for the boys. Both Monday and yesterday Landon had a really tough time with it. We had to leave him with the teachers, screaming and crying for us. Talk about the most horrible feeling as a parent ever. Thankfully both days, once he got to his classroom, he was fine and both the boys have enjoyed their days so far.

It has been rougher on my hubby and I for sure. Letting go. Admitting they are grown up. Giving their security and minds over to people we've barely met. Scary stuff. 

We've talked a lot with them about being scared and nervous and what that feels like. 

Ben said it feels like he has "bees in his belly."  

Don't you just love 5-year-old analogies? We've been talking a lot about those bees and how we can acknowledge them but not let them take over. I think this morning the bees were finally making their belly exits for all of us when we dropped the boys off and none of us cried. What a huge victory that felt like. 

The hardest thing for me over the past week has been to put my anxiety aside and show them only my excitement about them starting school. I get my tears out in the shower, the car, sometimes even behind my closed office door. They've seen me a little bit teary, and I think that's completely OK, but they've been spared the ugly cries. Nobody wants to see that. :)

I can honestly say that this has been the biggest parenting test for me since the boys were infants. Going to bed and waking up with a whole swarm of bees in my belly. And not that those times are fun or even desirable, but they sure do make the bee-less times even sweeter. 

Being a person is hard. Being a parent is hard. We all go through ups and downs but ultimately those are what make life exciting and worth living. Can I get an amen? :)

And this post wouldn't be complete without the boys' first day of kindergarten photo...

Handsome devils. 

{Back-to-School with Post Pebbles #PebblesBTS}

This shop is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign with Pollinate Media Group™ and Post Pebbles but all my opinions are my own. #pmedia #PebblesBTS  http://cmp.ly/3/8vNxcO

First of all, how ridiculous is it that I'm doing a back-to-school post.

Really ridiculous.

I'm still a bit in shock that the boys start school today but since we have no say in the matter I figured we might as well embrace it, right? Right? That's what I thought. ;)

So with the help of Post Pebbles I put together a fun little back-to-school party for the boys complete with sweets and crafts {my two favorite things of course}. 

Yes...those are cookies made with funfetti cake AND fruity pebbles. More on that later...

First, the boys and I headed over to our local Walgreens and grabbed a box of Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Pebbles...

I promise they have faces behind there. :)

Then while they were sleeping last night I decorated our dining room with a little back-to-school party complete with journals for each of them made from the Post Pebbles cereal boxes...

The journals were super easy. I cut the boxes down into 5x8 pieces, cut the handwriting paper down to fit, and connected everything together with metal binder rings...

And then for the fun! The boys chose dinosaur printed paper to cover the cardboard and then used a variety of stickers to add their names and other fun touches...

After all of that crafty fun was over, I used the Fruity Pebbles and this recipe from Pinterest to whip up some colorful cookies for an afternoon treat. {I had a funfetti cake mix in the pantry so I substituted that for the yellow cake mix.} I honestly didn't have much faith in this recipe, but they actually turned out pretty good! Very fruity and crunchy!

And Landon happily approved...

Could he look any older in this photo? Where is the pause button?

I guess we're about as ready for them to start kindergarten as we'll ever be!

{hello friday}

I hope you'll excuse the extra bit of silence around here over the next week or so. It is about to get crazy at the Ford house. The boys start kindergarten on Monday and I have my biggest work event next weekend so we are BUSY.  

I'm working on keeping my anxiety in check because this momma is just a tad sad about her boys growing up. I never thought I would be that mom, but I want to push a pause button right now so badly. I've been taking breaks for working on creative projects like my doodles and scrapbooking are helping to keep me a bit more sane. 

So here is a peek at our past week through my camera lens! 

{You can follow along with me on Instagram here}

I got a fun new stash of scrapbook supplies for my birthday and finished up my June Instalife album over the weekend...

Caught a sweet moment with Ben {looking SO big}...

Had a slight meltdown at work when I realized the boys were starting kindergarten in a week...

Good thing I have a private office...and really sweet Instagram friends who offered lots of encouragement and virtual hugs.

Started off my first day of 35 with these cuties... 

{have you entered my big birthday giveaway?!}

Then enjoyed some thrifting, a cute gift from my boys and a big old chocolate waffle cone...

Not too shabby of a way to spend a birthday if you ask me. 

Ben and I are doing a lot of this lately...

He'll bring me a "guy" to draw and then we take turns coloring him in.

Wednesday was another tough mental day for me so I did a little doodling...

And venti iced latte drinking...

And then I felt MUCH better. ;)

Yesterday the boys came to work with me for a bit...I can't complain about having this view from my desk...

Last night I took them for back-to-school haircuts and to pick out new shirts for their first day. I still can't believe I'm going to be a mom of kindergarteners. This afternoon we are taking them to their school for the first time for assessments and an open house. Eeek! We're almost ready! 

What did your week look like?

Linking up with...
Wild & Precious
Lauren Elizabeth