Amidst all of the joy in my life, I have also noticed lots of hard times for people close to me and also for people that I only know through a blog or an internet page. My dear coworker Donna lost her husband to cancer this week. It was an awful battle for him and for her, and even though there is some relief to know that he is no longer suffering, the empty place it has left in her life is, I'm sure, feeling like the deepest of holes right now. My heart hurts for her and I can't help but put myself in that position and wonder how I would even cope with that kind of a loss. It is unfathomable. It teaches me to thank God for every single second I have with my loved ones. Each second is so precious and valuable.
Today marks 2 years since my Grandma passed away. 2 years? It doesn't seem possible. But then when I think back on what a blur this past year was I guess it isn't hard to comprehend how quickly 2 years can go by. I remember one of the last times I visited her in the nursing home, I told her about how Dan and I were going to try to have a baby, and how excited she was at the idea of being a great-grandmother. I wish she could have met the boys.
One thing that motherhood has done to me is that I feel things so much deeper than I did before. Hearing about someone losing a loved one, reading about a child that has been hurt...its like I can feel what they are going through and internalize that pain. I think it is a blessing to have this new sense of compassion, but at times it can be overwhelming. One of my friends said something in her blog about how children are your heart living outside your body and it is so true...never have I felt more vulnerable. But with that vulnerability also comes a sense of being a much stronger person which I am very grateful for.
Speaking of being stronger, I've completed three days of the 30 Day Shred! I have to say that I've never tried such a difficult workout and stuck with it for three days in a row, so this is a small victory for me. I've also never needed to lose a significant amount of weight so this is all new territory for me. I feel great and whether it is psychological or not I feel thinner already. The jeans I bought a few months back are about falling off of me, so I must be making progress. What an empowering feeling!